The Hidden Meanings Behind Foam Art

I was at a local cafe the other day. I sidled up to the counter and was greeted by a picture of beauty.

'Morning sunshine!' she says, 'what can I get you?'

'Just a cappucino thanks' I reply in my best Sean Connery impersonation.

'Right away, Mr Bond' she whispers mischieviously.

So I sit down at a table in the corner, unable to wipe the smug grin from my face. A couple of minutes pass and she brings over the coffee.

She leans over me placing her hand on my shoulder to steady herself and whispers 'I hope this is what you ordered Mr Bond'. And there it is, a love heart, made out of the foam in the cappucino. So beautiful in its simplicity, too beautiful to destroy with my teaspoon, at least, not for a little while.

What does this mean? I don't know the etiquette and hidden messages of foam art. Does she make love hearts for everyone? Does love hearts for everyone lead to bigger tips? Unbelievable! The sheer nerve of it! Is she so presumptous to think that I would be duped by petty flirting? This 'heart' isn't even symmetrical for chrissake!

No, no, I won't stand for this. So I call her over.

'You called for me Mr Bond?' says the greedy siren. She thinks its just a game.

'Well,' I reply firmly, 'I'm just letting you know that I'm wise to your tricks so you can just forget it, I'm not giving you an exorbitant tip. And quite frankly, this coffee is of poor quality at best so you'll be lucky if I give you anything.' And with a wave of the hand, 'That is all, thankyou.'

She stands there stunned for a moment, presumably because I'm the first to catch this harlot out. Then the tears begin to well in her eyes and she briskly walks away.

The next day my foam art was of a dagger.

Ah well...............